Aug 2007

Illusion means bucks at the County Zoo

Like most county governments in Pennsylvania, Blair County is on life support. Simply stated, the county takes-in too little money and pays-out too much in return.

Having a vantage point that has allowed me to witness how county funds are allocated, I can confidently share these three observations. First, no one employed by the county is getting rich. Most county employees fall so close to the poverty line that it’s ridiculous to constantly be badgering the Salary Board to consider reductions.

Second, the county’s processes and disbursal systems may not be perfect but they are more than adequate. If county funds were being spent frivolously or without some level of expertise, local consumer groups would be camped-out on the steps of the courthouse on a regular basis. When was the last time anyone raised a protest sign questioning the competence of the county’s decision-makers?

Lastly, the graft and corruption meter in Blair County doesn’t even have a needle. Why would anyone interested in absconding with funds target a governmental entity that often doesn’t know where its next nickel is coming from?

So if the problem isn’t in the disbursement, then we’ve got to figure out new and exciting ways to bring more money into the county coffers. And I’ve got the perfect solution.

Open-up a County Zoo.

This gem of an idea wasn’t conceived without a high degree of thought or input from several people for whom I have the utmost of respect. Those people would be my wife (“You’re nuts”), my Chamber staff (“You’re out of your mind”) and my seven-year-old daughter (“I love zoos”).

Never question the wisdom of an enlightened seven-year-old.

Actually this idea was the by-product of a trip that my family took to Washington, D.C. three weeks ago. The National Zoo is one of the most respected in the world so I already had a valuable resource at my disposal. I wasn’t there an hour until I began to notice some incredibly amazing things.

The first display that we visited was a large mound of dirt with an obvious series of holes and tunnels running throughout. This was where the prairie dogs lived, or so we were told. We didn’t see prairie dogs because, according to the large sign in front of the display, prairie dogs don’t come out into the light when the sun is shining. My meteorological assessment at that minute was that it was rather overcast. Conceding that the sun was probably shining somewhere, I gave the zoo the benefit of the doubt and moved-on.

My children wanted to see the Bengal tigers and see them they did. Or at least pictures of them. The jungle-like structure where the tigers were able to run free, cavorting with other forms of intimidating wildlife was under construction and would likely be reopened within a few weeks. Where the tigers were in the interim was anybody’s guess. They may have been in the photo studio posing for pictures that people could purchase for “a reasonable cost.”

Yes, the cost. That’s where the Blair County Zoo went from concept to reality in my mind. The National Zoo was packed solid with people from every walk of life. They were there because people love to visit the zoo. They were there because it was a beautiful day (or so the prairie dogs will tell you). But mostly they were there because it was free. It didn’t cost one penny to go through the gate to see numerous photos and video displays of animals, a variety of empty cages that would soon have animals in them, alligators that looked a little too artificial and a real live Hippo swimming in and out of deep weeds.

My God, I thought, we have all of that here! (My apologies to the Mayor but I couldn’t resist!).

So where is the money to be made? Let’s just say I would have had to stand in a long line to have the privilege of buying a $7.00 lemonade. The concession costs were beyond belief and there were a few exhibits that required a fee to enter. Parking cost $18.00 for the three hours we were there and there were at least six enormous lots that were jam-packed with cars.

It was the most expensive “free” experience I’ve ever had. That’s why Blair County just has to embrace it. A few animals here and there and lots of concession stands and parking lots. Nothing could be simpler.

Just ask a seven-year-old.

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